Thursday, March 08, 2007

Having Friends and Being Married



When Nik and I were dating, we were very social. Nik had so many friends from Encore, and such, that there were always parties and friends houses to hang out at. I had a couple of friends within hang out distance, so there was no shortage of social interaction. I thought this would always be a normal for us, but was brought to a realization the other day.

Last Friday Nik suggested that we invite some friends over that we hadn't seen in a long time. I was suddenly upset that he would rather hang out with friends than have an evening home with me. After thinking on this for a moment, I figured there was no harm in calling a couple friends over for the evening. Nik called Spencer and Jess (an engaged couple that he has been friends with for a long time). At first I was just a little disapointed when they were able to come over, and I was afraid I would be upset, or unpleasent the whole eveing. When they showed up, however, I realized how much fun I have with them, even though I do not know Jess very well. We talked for an hour or so (the boys in the computer room) and then decided to watch a movie. When the evening ended and Spencer and Jess went home, I thought about how much fun we had, and how good it was to see them again.

The following day, I was up early for a morning with Vivian, then an afternoon tending my niece and nephew, then my best friend and her husband came up from Provo and we spent the evening with them. This is probably the most social contact I have had a long time.

In church on Sunday I was contemplating my full weekend and I was surprised at myself when I thought about how upset I had been about friends coming over. I never thought I would rater sit at home by myself (essentially) than have fun with friends. I think I forgot how much Nik thrives on being social. And how much I thrive on Nik. He has a social personality, and I had been stiffling it by insisting we spend every evening alone together.

I love having friends over and I love going to friends houses. I just need to be reminded of how much fun it is every once in a while.

10 comments:

Kersten said...

Ah friends...I used to have some of those, too.

Dixie Chic said...

Looks like you guys had a lot of fun! It's very easy to burrow yourself inside your own home- believe me. We've done it to ourselves more than once since living here. Benji's just not a social butterfly. However, I AM! Lol! Opposites attract. It's the same way with Benji- once we actually have people over, he tells me how much fun he had and I just smile and tell him "I know". :) But there are those days where I just want to stay home and be void of so much stimulation (like THIS WEEKEND! MAN!) Lol! Anyway. I know how you feel, and I also know what it's like to want to be surrounded by people. I love it, in it's own time and place. Lol. I do think it's a special thing to have a relationship like you and Nik have. He sounds so head-over-heels in love with you (I visited your website) and that's an awesome thing to have in your life! Kuddos for putting up with friends and realizing that they're not so bad afterall. ;)

Nik English said...

I love Lamp!

Dixie Chic said...

btw, Lena- I changed my blog to an invite-only status. If you would like to view my blog, please email me and I'll send you an invite. Thanks-
Lisa

AubGoofy said...

I'm glad you enjoyed your eventful weekend and that we could be a part of it. thanks

Laurie said...

We made most of our dearest friends at the first of our marriage when life was just beginning to roll, before kids, heartache and craziness. So enjoy your friends, it makes life so much better and happy as you roll along

Heather said...

I can be a real homebody, too. (having kids and more life stress really helps...) It's nice to step out of that comfort zone and just have fun as much as you can!

Mimi said...

Friends what are those? can someone tell me about them

Dave S. S. said...

I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.

Gatnnos said...

We used to have friends before my husband started eating fiberglass insulation and thinking it was candy. Nik, see what 10 years of marriage can do to friends?!!?

Actually I often feel just like Lena where Dave is soooo social, I am often not. I think it is great to balance each other out so much!