I talk about my life with, and after, cancer. Mosey on over.

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Photo Update (long)

I finally uploaded my camera so Nik could take it to Scout camp, and I was thinking I would do a photo update, little did I know that I had like 4 months worth of photos on there. So now, I have a small sampling (believe me, I held back) of what I have been up too, even though I failed to blog it then. Have fun!

My Opinion

Do you remember going to the bank with your parents as a child?  I do.  It didn't happen very often at my house, but when it did, oh man.  You knew it was coming.  The only reason you sat quietly in the car on the drive over.  Your motivation for standing right by mom's side til she was done.  Just to hear those words: 

 

 

 

 

"Do you want a sucker?"

 

 

 

Why yes mother, I think I would, thank you. 

 

 

 

This, in my opinion, is what the bank suckers are for.  Children who were made to come to the boring bank with their parents and were still able to stand still and stay relatively quiet.  I know this is hard for kids sometimes, especially when there are such fun and tempting things like window blinds, and line dividers, and dry-erase boards, and pens, and all this room to run around!  But if your kid manages to stay in the vacinity of you, and is not screaming or messing with the blinds or line dividers, then by all means, give them a sucker!  Give them two!  What the suckers are NOT for are grandparents who tell me that their grandkids count on these suckers, so they take six or seven.  Or a car of four asks for six.  Or a lady with no kids with her says that she loves these suckers, so she empties a basket of them into her purse, right in front of a teller.

 

Does this make me a mean person?  Maybe.  I feel like if you like the suckers that much, ask us where we got them, or what they are called, and try to get them yourself.  If your grandkids are so dependant on candy that you have to steal it from the bank, there are some deeper seated issues than just wanting candy.  I can sometimes over look asking for more suckers than the number of people in the car, as long as it is not one guy asking for 7 suckers, with no one else in the car.  Trying to quit smoking?  Try the patch.

 

I really don't mind adults who take a sucker.  I'm a sweets fan myself.  Last time I went to the doctor I had 4 Jolly Ranchers.  I get it.  Take a sucker.  Whatever.  But don't take a hand full just because they are complimentary.  Grow up.

Don't hate me #2

I know, I haven't been on here in forever, and now I do a post like THIS? I'm sorry, but I just could not resist taking part in this give away from Little Birdie Secrets. Back when I was reading blogs all day long, I was on the site, well, all day long. I love their tips, and crafts, and recipes. It's an all around great site. And now they are giving away a machine I didn't even know existed, but now must have. A Silhouette digital cutting tool. It functions similar to a Cricut, but like 100 times cooler and more efficient. Follow this link to check it out for yourself (make a point to see some of the example projects she has done, fantastic!). But do it soon, cause the give away ends on the 14th!

Good luck to me!

Don't think I'm strange

If you know the band Ludo, you know they are a little weird. Good, but weird. I really only know a couple of their songs, but I very much enjoy them. My new favorite of theirs may be a touch weirder than others. It's called The Horror of Our Love, and basically its about a stalker/killer singing about the object of his affection. Here are the lyrics so you can get a taste of it, but I highly recommend finding this song. Maybe on YouTube. Anyway, here it is:

I'm a killer
Cold and wrathful
Silent sleeper
I've been inside your bedroom
I've murdered half the town
Left you love notes on their headstones
I'll fill the graveyards
Until I have you

Moonlight walking
I smell your softness
Carnivorous and lusting
To track you down among the pines
I want you stuffed into my mouth
Hold you down and tear you open
Live inside you
Oh, love I'd never hurt you

But I'll grind against your bones
Until our marrows mix
I will eat you slowly
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood pulled through my veins
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood

I wake in terror
Blackbirds screaming
Dark cathedrals spilling
Midnight on their alters
I'm your servant
My immortal
Pale and perfect
Such unholy heaving
The statues close their eyes
The room is changing
Break my skin
And drain me

Ancient language
Speak through fingers
The awful edges
Where you end and I begin
Inside your mouth
I cannot see
There's catastrophe
In everything I'm touching
As I sweat and crush you

And I hold your beating chambers
Until they beat no more
You die like angels sing
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood pulled through my veins
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood

You're a ghost, love
Nightgown flowing
Your body blue and walking
Along the continental shelf
You are a dream among the sharks
Beautiful and terrifying
Living restless
We dance in dark suspension

And you bury me
In the ocean floor beneath you
Where they'll never hear us scream
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood pulled through my veins
Ohhhhh
The horror of our love
Never so much blood

Real Quick

Cause I don't know if this should go on my other blog, or what, but I don't know when I will get a chance to update again, I just wanted to let you know the results of my blood test for my thyroid:  Hypo-thyroidism.  Or something involving the fact that my thyroid does not work properly.  Hm.  Sounds like a trend huh?  That's what they said about my gallbladder too, and I had to have that one removed.  Either way, I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday, and I already know that I will need to take medication for it (possibly for the rest of my life). 

 

 

Sorry to leave you there, but I have to go.  Hopefully soon I will finish it up.

 

DON'T WORRY, NOTHING IS REALLY WRONG.  REALLY.

Where did May go?

I know people say this all the time, but really, I feel like this month should be just starting.  I had several dates I was looking toward that I think helped move the month along. 

 

First, the 10th:  Both my younger brother's birthday, and the Paramore show.  Still need to get those pictures up, but you can see them on facebook.  Some of them turned out pretty good.  I didn't hurt that we had awesome seats with no one in front of us to block our view. 

 

Second: The 14th, my CT scan.  I was not really looking forward to this, but it was a date that was looming in the future, and now not only is it past, but today is my follow up, more than 10 days later. 

 

Third:  the 18th.  Our 4th anniversary.  We didn't make a big deal of this one, but we both took half-days at work and went to lunch and the Aquarium to celebrate.  It was perfect. 

 

Fourth:  Today, the follow-up appointment.  I'm not really worried about this, but there is always that niggling thing in the back of my head that tells me it will come back some time, and I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

 

Fifth:  Memorial Day Weekend.  I was not expecting to have this weekend off, so we didn't make plans.  But since finding out, we have made and unmade numerous plans.  Finally we settled on being good little workers and taking a crack at cleaning out that second bedroom.  I will try and take some before and after pictures, so you can see what we were up against and how much progress we made.  Nik and I are looking at moving toward the end of the summer, and having this room cleaned out would make that whole process go much smoother, I think. 

 

And then, BAM!!  The month is over.  One more weekend.  Then what?  What happens in June?  A couple birthdays, including the land-mark 12th birthday of my niece.  I am very exicted for that.  Probably start the summer with an out-door's type party some where.  Probably not our place.  A friend gets married.  Not nearly the full month that May was.  At least not yet. 

 

May was a very eventful month for us, and I wouldn't trade (most of) it for the world.  And looking ahead to the rest of the summer, it looks just as promising.  Some very interesting and exciting things are in store for us, just you wait.

Help!

I am trying to plan this trip to Chicago, and I am in over my head!  I have so many things I am thinking about, I just don't know where to start.  Can anyone offer any advice?  Anyone been there (I'm looking at you Lisa)?  How about general travel tips for an unfamiliar city?  We want to see as much as we can without over loading ourselves.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

CT Scan

I know, I would usually do this on the other blog, and I may move it when I get home, but I just wanted to get it up in case anyone had any questions.  The scan went well, and I only had a minor attack.  The nurse lady was very nice, and understood that it was going to be hard for me.  I drank the contrast just fine, but I guess, not fast enough cause they made me chug the last cup.  Which just about made me sick.  *Yuck*.  The injection is what really gets me, but since I was expecting it, I was able to fight it a little.  Not as bad of a reaction as I thought it would be.  Though, the aftermath was not what I thought it would be either.  That problem I always get?  I thought it would be started and over with in a couple hours.  Nope, it didn't even start til amost midnight, then made a comeback at 3am.  Which led to very little sleep for Lena.  One of the reasons working on Saturdays has it drawbacks.  One of many reasons.  I am looking forward to a nap when I get home.  And because I thought I would be stuck in the house most of the day yesterday, I ended up stuck in the house.  Not that I would have gone many places.  That contrast does weird things to me.  Even drinking water, and eating lunch, I couldn't shake that weird feeling.  At least I got a couple loads of laundry done, and the front room picked up a little.  That makes the day not wasted, right?  Oh well, follow-up on the 27th.  I'll let you know the results.

Help me out

So, here is my problem:

 

I am eligible for a new phone this month.  I don't necessarily NEED the new phone, I just want one.  So I have been researching phones on att.com and came to the conclusion that I wanted the Samsung Propel a767.  It was available refurbished for free, so yeah.  But every time I tried to buy it, it would disapear.  I could no longer find any of the refurbished phones.  I talked to people online, and over the phone numerous times trying to find out why, and he problem always seemed to be something with my account.  Well, today I find out that the real reason is because refurbished phones are not available for upgrade.  Translation:  You can't buy one if you are already with AT&T. 

 

 

 

I'm sorry?

 

 

Rarely are you punished for being a long-time customer.  I have been with AT&T for as long as I have had a phone.  I was even with Cingular when they changed.  That is like 7+ years.  And now they tell me that I can't buy the phone I want?  But you will let me buy other phones for free.  Just not the one I want.  Even though it is used. 

 

 

 

Really?

 

 

So here is my dilema.  Is it worth calling and complaining about it?  I feel like I have a case, and I know that some time the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so I may get what I want.  On the other hand, I work at an institution where we have to stick to some policies, no matter how big of a fuss you make.  So, what do I do?  Forget about it and look for a new phone later, or call and make a stink in hopes of getting what I want?

Help!!!

Belated Birthday

I have (what I think will be) a good Mother's Day post if I can ever get it up here, but in the mean time, I want to wish my youngest brother Jeff a happy 17th birthday yesterday.  I am sorry we celebrated by going to a concert without you.  I hope taking you to Iron Man 2 on Friday helped you over look that. 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Jeff, I am so proud of you.

I Don't Care....

Who you are, where you're from, what you did...

 

 

 

 

As long as you love me.

 

 

 

As true now as it was in 1997

Sick

And it starts.  I officially have a cold.  I generally don't get sick that often (well, the REAL kind of sick, not the "Lena has anxiety" kind of sick), so when it actually fleshes out into feeling like crap, it hits me hard.  This one was weird though.  Usually, when I am getting a cold, I start with 3 days of progressively worsening sore throat, then congestion, then cough, then everything goes away except the cough which sticks around for about 2 more weeks.  This one started with just one day of a very mild sore throat, then a runny nose, then congestion starting while I was sleeping.  All in just 2 days.  So, I might be just speeding through this one, and I will be done in another days, or this could be a whole different can of worms.  Just as long as it is gone before my scan.  I just don't want to deal with that.

 

With all that in mind.  I have been struggling in getting to the gym once a week, as per my New Year's Resolution.  I did great for about two months, then it tapered off.  I really need to get back into the habit, cause I can really see that I would have been one that struggled with weight my whole life, if circumstances were not what they were.  I can't let this get out of hand.  Luckily Mom has a gym membership with me, so hopefully we can motivate each other.  I do much better when I have some one to go with.  Also, because of the weight gain, none of my summer clothes from last year fit.  Not the pants, not the shirts, not the swim suits.  Nothing.  Those who know me will know that I like my clothing on the snug side, or at least close fitting.  That makes for very little wiggle room in the wardrobe department.  Which means that I need a whole new summer wardrobe!  I will do it slowly, so that by the middle of the summer, I have enough clothes to last.  And my meager selection will not be hard to replace.  I feel like I wear the same 5 shirts every week to work anyway. 

Well, I am glad that my test post was a success. That means that I should be able to do more blogs from work. I don't think there will be very many pictures, but at least there will be content. I feel like I have fallen short in the blog world lately. I used to have great posts that were at least funny, if not informative or thought provoking. Now all I can think to post about is small random events that don't seem important enough to write about. And then the important stuff (like, last month was 1 year since being diagnosed) gets overlooked cause I don't know how to write the posts. I have lost my writing abilities. And I don't know how to get it back. How do I get it back?

Test post

I am sending this post via email in an attempt to master "email posting."  I am not sure I have the address right, so this is a test.  If anyone happens to see this blog, please email me, so I can know it worked.  Thanks!

I'm Back!

Well, at least for a minute. When I am not at home, with access to a computer, I have lots of good blog ideas. But then they go right out the window. That would be why I have not blogged in a long time. I finally got some time to catch up on some blogs, and I came across this post from my friend Annie, and I liked it so much, I thought I would give it a shot too! So without further ado,

What's In Your Wallet? (haha, I stole the title too, Annie!!)

1: My purse. I got it for my birthday from my mother-in-law, and I love it! It is the second purse she has got for me, and she is two for two. The only thing I would change is longer straps. I like to hang my purse cross-body. So I don't have to keep a hand on it. Other than that. Perfection.

2: Lotion. The big one is a travel container from Walmart, and I refill it with my favorite lotion from home, Vaseline intensive rescue moisture (sorry Steph) locking lotion, unscented. Then I add a couple squirts of a good scented lotion. Making it smell good, without being over powering. I have this with me all the time. Its essential. The little one is a sample from Mary Kay Romance, that does not exist anymore :(

3: Gum. Orbit Spearmint. Also essential. Though the flavor is not set in stone.

4: Rolaids. I actually don't really need these anymore, but for some reason, they are still there.

5: The Little Green Machine. I love my iPod. I hope it lasts forever. Oh yeah, the red and white Skull Candy headphones that I got for Nik for Valentines. Now they are mine. Hope he's ok with that.

6: Mary Kay oil reducing sheets. I really love these. My skin started getting very oily at the end of the day again, so I dug them out. Very useful.

7: The inconspicuous box of "mints". That is really filled with medication. Mostly advil and tylonol. But it changes depending on what I am suffering from. I got the mints at Cracker Barrel a long time ago, and the tin was just the right size to keep around.

8: Thumb drive. I don't use them as much as I did in school, but I still like to have one around.

9: Green marker. Left over from when I helped Jeff with his school posters. I actually did not use the marker, but once again, still in there.

10: "Get Lucky!" coins. You heard me.

11: Lip stick collection. I have several shades of MK lip stuff that I really like....when I put Bath and Body Works lip gloss over the top. So I always have at least 2 lip options in my purse, plus a regular chap stick in my pants pocket.

12: Coupons from Smiths. I keep forgetting I have them.

13: WALLET!!! I love my wallet. I got it on clearance at Torrid.com and it just may be the best purchase I have ever made. Its got zippers!! Did you hear that? ZIPPERS!! It goes great with my zipper shoes.

14: (Whew, narrowly avoided that 13 thing Annie) My "Organizational Tools". A small day-to-day planner with pen, and an even smaller composition notebook. They help me keep my life in order.

Well, there it is. I have to say, it is not as much as I thought it would be. But I should mention that my purse is divided into three segments. Two on the sides with snap closures and one in the middle with a zipper. The zipper one has a smaller zipper pocket where I keep my cash, hand sanitizer, and "various unmentionable feminine products". And that small pocket on the front that you can see there, that is where the lip stuff is kept. Also my phone when its not in my pocket.

So, anyone else want to share what's in their purse? Feel free to copy the post, or just leave a comment! Hopefully this will not be the last time I am on!

Update?

I had planned on posting a bunch of pictures of what Nik and I have been up to, but you know what? There weren't any! The top picture is of Nik holding our good friend's baby a couple months ago. The next is of some of my best friends at a great Swap Party we had at Annie's house. The last is from a karate tournament Nik and his do-jo went too. It was great fun.

Speaking of Karate, Nik was given a great opportunity on Thursday. He has been learning Kenpo Karate for about a year now, taught by our brother in law, Gearold, at a rec center. Much prior to this, he earned a Black Belt in Tae-Kwon-Do. Since his sensei has stopped teaching, he was unable to find out what his linage was. In martial arts your linage is determined by who you earned your black belt from. For example, Gearold is a Dragon. And because Nik could not determine his linage, and some other reasons, Gearold went out of his way to submit Nik's name to his sensei to have him inducted as a Dragon. So now he has a black belt with his name and the year he got his first black belt, embroidered in gold on one side. It is awesome. Gearold did a great little surprise ceremony after normal graduation on Thursday. He went way out of his way to do this for Nik and we are both extremely grateful. Thank you so much Gearold.

Nothing really exciting has happened to me. I work. Then I sleep. And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night feeling sick. That part sucks. But the rest of my life is pretty normal. My house is a mess, and I need to do my dishes. Just like the rest of you right?

Before and After

Most of you know by now that I have dyed my hair blonde. I love it. I can't be sure if I will keep it up for much longer, but I like the look. Why would I not keep it up? Oh, probably because of the excruciating, fire ant-like pain in my scalp while the color processed. Here is what I looked like while I was waiting:
It was bad. Really bad. It was tingly, and hot, and itchy, and painful, and like my scalp was slowly disintegrating from acid. And yet. I think I will do the roots one time before I give up on blonde. Also, my hair is getting long (compared) so I am trying to figure out what to do with it. The back is longer than the top, but its hanging over my ears all funny. I don't know. Any ideas?

While you are thinking, here is a before and after of my little(younger) brother the same day I dyed my hair. Quite a change huh?

Darn

I have been waiting for Nik to get home from his scout over-nighter, and I seem to have forgotten that he would be tired when he returned. Now I have to wait for him to nap before I can make he do stuff with me. Bummer.

And it starts.

Or, more accurately, ends. They blocked blogs at work. I will do my best to keep up with everyone, but don't expect much from me. In the mean time, here is a picture of me and Nik from the climb. Thanks Jess!

Look how cool my hair looks!! All blonde...love it.